Hey, Soos! #16

February 6, 2021

Hey, Soos!

I apologize for not writing anything for the past week. There were times where I planned to, but something would come up and drive my attention elsewhere. It was usually in moments of great turmoil that I wanted to reach out to you with my words. I think it’s sad that my pain is one of the main causes for me writing to you. I wish that more of it came from my joy.

Sometimes I sit and try to figure out where it all went wrong. What caused me to be the way that I am today? Was there a singular event in my past? Was it an upsetting trend that didn’t seem to want to end, and I didn’t recognize it in time? Or maybe is it just something that I was destined to carry, even before I took my first breath in this life?

I seek to use my pain and struggles to bring about some form of beauty. The pain is not the only side of my story. I’d like to believe that there is something else out there that can help all of this make sense.

Somehow, it has to make sense.

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