From “I’m tired” to “I’m ready”

I’m tired. I’m tired of being depressed and anxious all the time. I’m tired of always having a negative outlook on life and never letting the positive in. I’m tired of feeling like I’m crazy and have no control over my life. I’m tired of the constant need to compare myself with those around me. I’m tired of all the self hate and loathing that I inflict upon myself. Frankly, I’m tired of being tired.

I constantly wonder if there is ever a chance that I could have a happy life. My usual life patterns sees all the bad finding a way to snuff out all the good. I never feel like I’m living, just existing. All the weight from my mental health that I carry around have taken a toll, and I’m not so sure what I should do anymore. All I know is that I’m ready.

I’m ready to start coping with my mental illnesses and no longer allowing them to control me. I’m ready to start feeling free and at peace for the first time in my life. I’m ready to start loving and appreciating myself for the unique woman that I am, and to stop putting myself into unimportant competitions with others. I’m ready to stop stigmatizing myself and to work towards a better life. I may be tired now, but with some rest and motivation, I know I can get to where I want to be.

I just have to start.